what does it mean to live without Self?

just came across this career changing musing by a belly dancer:

http://flowertucci1.com/flower-of-life

it is curious that when we truly know ourselves it is very impossible to live without Our True Self… Kobo Abe wrote “Man without a Face”… I saw SpiritBeing being asked to erase Her Spiritual Name in order to play the Role of Divine Mother of All Life… i will never forget the feeling of image dissapearing as soon as the name was errased – what i felt in my Heart – i wish no living being will ever feel or being asked to do this sacrifice while being requiered to keep on living in human body with full memory of an act… will my Spiritual Nama or Holy Sigil ever be given back to me? …i guess i am just tired of being always erased… to be empty and to have to fill myself from a scratch… our Love is erased when we are emptied – so it takes to learn to Love all over again… by this i mean our unique Voice – our unique vibration – our MUSE – our InSpirit@ion – in a dance of One Life… why does any entitity will be so cruel as to erase all yet keep the human vessel alive????

i also had an experience of all memories – all of who i am errased – empty i walked in shock for many weeks learning to live anew – now it happens all over again… WHY ME??? or… why so many times??? we already know that we are no thing but a point of consciousness inflaming Pure Love of a Disc of Life… perhaps it can be called a sphere when it dances upon itself and spins… some say Life is never ending spiral of ascention – as one circle ends – another begins – all seemingly same yet awareness increases… so they say… i believe if Love is absent from the Heart – no matter how high awareness soars… God is Love and if some pretend that ascention is about awareness and knowledge – kick them as far away from your Soul as possible – only LOVE way is True – only Love and Ecstasy lead to higher and all increasing de-greese of awareness… Rose Lotus Astra Spiraling Cone flowers and those of pine and cedar are sacred flowers  for they are like God’s spiraling on the waves of Love higher and higher… emptying from lesser degrees of orgasmic Love as Spirit leads Soul into all increasing Ecstasy that made Life possible… ecstasy if the true sign of ascention into The Heart of God… all else are steps of belly Dance or Dance of Safiras…

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